02 August 2009

How to Build Emotional Intelligence - Get Rid Of Psychological Memory

It is easier said than done. My journey towards building emotional intelligence is very painful. But I believe that I can endure the pain because at the end of the day it makes me a nice and pleasant guy. On the way, I tend to learn so many things about humanity, human relations, psychology, how to get away from "don't walk the talk people" and yet to unaffected or affect negligibly.

Human beings have excellent memory - many many billions of terabytes. The wonderful thing about human beings is that they forget even the biggest blunders when there have benefits and they tend to blow up small mistakes which goes to an extent of taking a revenge. We need to build the habit of selective amnesia - the ability to forget our psychological memory. This is the key aspect for building emotional intelligence.

There are two types of memory - factual and psychological memory. For example, when your close friend does some unpardonable mistake which you cannot digest, you feel so much pain - the real pain due to the wound and the psychological pain due to your friend's action. In reality, it is the psychological pain that causes so much wound and prevails beyond the physical wound. You tend to spoil your inner well being and your low emotional intelligence erupts in many forms but mostly yelling at others or at your friend. The yell causes more damage to you than to your friend. The first step towards building emotional intelligence is to forget psychological but retaining the factual memory (which adds to your knowledge base) to add the scenario as your learning. The second step towards better Emotional Intelligence is getting rid of psychological memory.

Other posts on Emotional Intelligence can be accessed via this link

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